The statement of an 88-year-old
He always reminded me of James Dean. I met him in person 46 years ago. He was 42 at the time and a picture of a man. A kind father and a faithful husband. He was also a great father-in-law. I can’t remember a single argument since 1978. The two of us always got along. He was successful at work and interested in everything. Once a year he went to Ireland with friends to fish on the Shannon. He threw his big rucksack over his back and the adventure could begin.
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The ravages of time. When my mother-in-law died, he managed to run the household himself for a while. But his strength was failing and he couldn’t put off being admitted to a care home. Some furniture from the house that he had laboriously built with his father after the war. Family pictures on the walls. Nostalgic feelings. When we visited him, we could still talk about the years gone by. Joint trips to his wife’s grave in Wiesbaden Sonnenberg were part of our routine.
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But the decline in his physical and mental abilities continued. The last time he couldn’t say my name. His gaze went blank. It was a challenge for him to bring the sippy cup to his mouth. A combination of poor eyesight, coordination problems and lack of strength. But when I told him about my talks in church congregations, his eyes came to life: “There must be someone up there who controls everything!” His remark was the end of our theological conversation. “What is man that Thou art mindful of him?” wrote an ancient psalmist. Confined to a wheelchair and with cognitive impairments, the prospects for the future are nil. We turn our heads to heaven and pray with an author from the Old Testament: “And now, in my old age, do not forsake me. Do not forsake me when my strength fails!” (Psalm 71)
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Fortunately, our dignity is not dependent on our own achievements. God loves us just as we are. He has our whole life in mind. And if we trust him, he graciously takes us in where age, illness and death no longer play a role. But when I sit next to him, I can’t stop wondering. Will it be the same for me one day? Now and today I want to seek the closeness of God and then – when the time comes – travel the last stretch of the road together with HIM. /KDJ
